Jon knows he needs to stop playing. I saw this magazine in the store and almost fainted. While Kate is at home taking care of 8 heathens he's out frolicking around town kicking up carpet with biznites...without his wedding ring on. SEOD

For all of you who aren't familiar with SUPER SPERM let me introduce you. Jon has twin girls, Madelyn and Cara, 8, and 5-year-old sextuplets, Aaden, Joel, Collin, Hannah, Leah and Alexis. His wife, Kate, is usually seen as a raving lunatic, but now I see why. Dealing with 8 small kids and a husband with a wandering d*ck have got to be hard.

According to a fellow party goer, Jon was caught yelling , “Hey, babe! Babe! Give me my jacket!” to his mystery "friend." *Insert Biz Markie singing his song here* When he seen the paparazzi on their tails he told her to hop in the car and they skidded off like Gucci Mane at a random drug test.

Following, ol' Jon Jon released this statement, "“I went to Legends to speak to the owner. A friend of mine wanted to check out my car, so I let her drive it to her car. Yes, I have female friends - but that is all she is. I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on TV.”

DEAD. I guess everyone would be a little more eager to believe him if it wasn't the first time he was caught up in some mess like this. Not too long ago he was chasing college tail and he denied that too. You can't play Super Dad during the day and then hoe hop at night. I'm just saying....

I am just too through today. I spotted this at C + D and just gave up the ghost. I dare you to say something nice.