Ya'll know I wait to the very last minute to get gas. It's pathetic but I do it. Sue me. I feel like someone should do it for me. Anyway, I got off the train, got in my whip and noticed I needed gas asap. The weather was bad and I didn't know if I would run into traffic, so I had to plan for the worse. Consequently I had to go to a HOOD gas station because it was the closest.

I know you're asking what's a hood gas station. A hood gas station serves likka, penny candy, condoms, oils, Obama gear, watches, and if you're lucky you may run up on some fake Air Force One's. I parked my car at Pump #3 and tried to use the credit card machine. It wasn't working. TREATED. So, I went in hoping I could get in and out. Well y'all already know my luck...it wasn't going to happen like that.

I get in there and it's nothing but niggas. AND I MEAN NIGGAS. HOOD BOOTY. I'm in there minding my business trying not to notice how hard I'm being eye eff'd. I was about to ask for a pack of cigarettes to give to this one guy because he deserved it. Had me wondering if it should have been as good for me, as he was for him. *rolls eyes*

This one guy just got OUT OF ORDER and blew my entire life. He didn't even waver when I mean mugged him and gave him the SEOD.

I was after him in line so I just wanted this fool to hurry up and finish. Since I behind him I got a chance to REALLY peep HIM and I had to compose myself because I wanted to fall out in the floor HOWLING. He was an older cat. Had on THE TIGHTEST dress pants and dress shirt. That wasn't the issue though. This fool hair looked like this....


...although it wasn't as long. He had the STINGIEST ponytail EVER. I kept leaning back because I thought his rubber band was about to pop off and possibly take my eye out. It didn't help he was taking FOREVER at the window. All he has was a pint of Bacardi, a MGD, and a pack of cigarettes. I chalked it up to my being impatient and concentrated on moving side to side and doing my breathing techniques to calm me down. LOL

This was the part that BLEW ME...

Attendant: Will that be all for you sir.
Baldy Locks: Can I get $20 on pump 2? (mumbling the entire time because he had a cigarette dangling out his mouf)
Attendant: That will be $28. 72.
Baldy Locks: How's that $28?!
Attendant: (patiently itemized his bill)
Baldy Locks: I said $2 on pump 2 not $20.


I was DEADDDDDDDDDD. As soon as he walked out I was LMAO. The attendant and I gave his dumb self 10 straight. We straight tag teamed his clown arse. Habeeb (if that's his name) was cool as ever.

Oh but that wasn't the end of it. I went outside to pump my gas and he was just watching. Mind you, I'm paying him NO mind and giving NO eye contact. I AIN'T GON' BE ABLE TA DO THAT. He was taking FOREVER to pump his gas and I knew he was full of it because it should take .2 seconds to pump $2 of gas. Let's just keep it real here.

He finally saw I'm wasn't going and got in his car. He let his window all the way down (mind you it's all of 10 degrees out there), and turned up his speakers REAL LOUD. This is what he was playing.....



I.JUST.COULDN'T.TAKE.IT. I started CRYING laughing.


Let me find out he had a cassette playing in that bish because I know you can't find Ice-T "Colors" on CD. Regardless, who goes to find it?! All I can say is....




That's my vent....your turn!