*There will more than likely be typos and all kind of mistakes throughout this post. It was done during the actual show, so it's all the random fuckery running through this mind of mine. Don't get on here pinpointing mistakes. Be grateful heathens!*

7:00- Usher is boring the hell out of me. He's lip synching for absolutely nothing because he's dancing like a 70-year old with arthritis. And why were his dancers bumping all into each other?! LMAO It's sad because he just basically handed the crown to Chris Brown. And that one live "Make Love" sounded like he was constipated, or maybe he just caught a glimpse of Maneka and threw up in his mouf a little. I digress...

7:07- D.L. Hughley is the host? Wamp, wamp. They should have kept Monique. He has never been funny. The only thing funny is the funeral/after-past burgundy Dobb hat on his head.

7:10- Jennifer Hudson looks like a damn statue. And why is Terrance Howard caressing his guitar like a woman? STOP! You know he's never even touched a woman like that.

Best Male R&B artist- Chris Brown
I guess he has been grinding. Taking Usher's place is hard work you know. Chris lil' high yella ass looks good. I like his new look, but it ponders me how he's able to Krump in skinny jeans when I can barely even walk in mine. Now that takes talent! Kudos Chris!

7:20- Jeezy! "I Put On" is my mofockn' song. He better bring Kan Yizzle out!
(audience glimpse)OMG, why does Rihanna look like a damn highlighter! *dies*

Kanye entered the building, but he should have left the bubble vest in the back...I stan this man though! He made this song IMO. It would have been boring without him. But this performance is not so hot. Did Ye forget his lyrics?

7:23- Scary Spice aka Mouf of the South looks nice. "I'm in it to win it." We all know you are honey.

Best Male Athlete- Kobe Bryant
He couldn't make it because he's giving a press conference on how Shaq's ass taste.

7:26- Keyshia's family is embarrassing. Neffe chesticle almost popped out and her mom is screaming "HOLLA." SMH

7:30- Keyshia Cole. *crosses finger* Please don't dance. *sighs* She's off key and her makeup looks like she got it done at Marshall's instead of Marshall Fields. She keeps embarrassing herself. Looking like a ghetto ass Cinderella. Lil' Kim was about the best thing in this performance. She looks nice SO Y'ALL DON'T GO BOTHERING HER DAMMIT! All in all I could have done without this mess.

7:37- Best Female Hip-Hop Artist- Missy Elliot
Eve and Kid Sister had NO reason being in this category. Actually, this category sucked period. Missy was the only one that could have won.

7:45- Neyo. He's about to.get.it. with his Temptation shuffle. At least the Jabbewokke's (sp) came out to assist him in his wack moves. He should have let them kill it more.

7:47 - Ashanti still has that big dumbass tidal wave on her head! A mess....

Best New Artist - The Dream
I'm glad he won because his cd is the ish, believe it or not. But why isn't he there? It's your first award show where you're not coming as Nivea's weed carrier or Jazzy Phae's human lunch bag.

7:55- Alica the Home Wrecker. She looks great and sounds the same. I gotta give it to her. But she's disrespectful for digging up Cleopatra to steal her wig.

SWV- YES, YES, YES. CoCo, better show these folks up on the vocals. I was so happy to see them!!

Envogue-I AM IN 90'S GIRL BAND HEAVEN! They still sound so good. And they haven't aged a bit. Wow...I can rest happy.

TLC- Blah. T-Boz sounds a mess and they both need to give Goldie "The Mack" back his pants. At least Chili didn't bring her weak ass, Walgreen swagga jacking bags.

8:03- Who is Niecy Nash? And why is she clothed in Forever 21?

Best Male Hip Hop Artist- Kanye
Chi-Town stand up!!! And I'm so happy he took Lil Wayne up there because they both have been hustling hard this year. Did Wayne trip?! That syrup will make a fool of you err time. LMAO

8:11- T-"Pain me to watch" looks like a crispy Willy Wonka. But the set for his performance is on point because HE'S A DAMN CLOWN! I'm not "tired of the wack ish" I'M TIRED OF YOU!

Flo-RIDE-OUT hairline is shaped like a "U" so I can't even do this one.

Rick Ross- *waving $5* Shawty got the biggest TIG OL' BIDDIES I've ever seen. Real Talk. LMAOROFL That liquid bravery is a bish.

DJ Khaled- STFU with all that hollering.

Big Boi- He killed this verse, but I'd be damned if I got up there with T-Pain dressed in a comforter.

Luda-Exuse me...I'm having a moment...THIS MAN IS FINE AS EVER!

8:18- Best Video Of The Year- UGK and Outkast
R.I.P. Pimp C. His wife looks like Shawnna. This song is definitely a classic.

8:28- D.L. has on this crushed velvet cardigan and bright red belt. I REFUSE to keep playing with him!

Marvin Sapp is singing this thang! Excuse me while I repent for roasting everyone above because God don't like ugly. Well, if that's true, how is it that T-Pain has been so successful?

8:35- Best Gospel Album-Marvin Sapp

8:44- Chris Breezy. Not really a fan of this song. *looks for Usher whose somewhere tucking his balls* Lawd! I just noticed the Pee Wee Herman bow tie. LMAO Is that Ci Ci? They work well together. Rihanna gon' "beat deh ass" like ol' girl on the Marta train.

8:45- Solange looks like a bunk ass Barbie doll with Beyonce left over tracks. And Cassie ass can't sing, or speak. Her snatch as GOT to be what's up because she has nothing else to offer.

Best Collaboration- Kaney feat. T-Pain
We knew T-Pain was going to win a award because he was on almost every nomination. Rack em' up Yeezy. I just want beat the hell out of T-Pain lame 2008 moon man looking ass. Kanye says,"I'm one of the King's in the game and my opinion count." *hangs head* He was doing so well...

8:57- John Legend is gay. Sorry, but he is. Dead @ Rev. Al Green. STOP! Don Juan has opened up the gates for this tomfoolery.

Jill Scott. I'm about to have me a drink and chill out with her. This is sure to be a treat. Especially, since she's happily engaged. You know a sister who gets some good thang, thang, on a regular will put her BEST foot forward. LOL. However, she could have left the MU MU in her dressing room. She looks like a hot air balloon.

Anthony Hamilton is killing this. They picked the right people to pay honor to Al Grits. Anthony cleans up nice don't he?! Go head with your David Ruffin pants.

Maxwell *faints*. This is a sexy beast. He's aging, but his voice is still smooth like butter and will make any woman legs spread like no other. PLEASE BELIEVE ME. "Can I take off your dress?" *looks around* Who me? LMAO

I am so proud Al Green cut his Soul Glo locks off. He looks really good for his age. Hopefully he'll get up there and give these youngin's some schooling on what REAL MUSIC IS. Dead @ them showing Diddy when he said "I might as well show yall my eyes!" LMBAO

Al Green, "I want to thank the Academy of BET?" *falls out*

Al is singing "Let's Stay Together" and killing.it.seriously. His falsetto is nothing to play with.

"Love and Happiness," let's get down Al! The raw emotion, and intricate attention to the way he hits these notes is making me wake up my neighbors. You can FEEL him when he sings. Yes! Al is getting on the good foot. LOL. He's a fool for this. He's genuinely having fun up there and I'm enjoying watching him enjoy himself.

9:27- Mad as hell the Ultimate Fan is always GROWN AS HELL! The fuck you doing watching 106 and Park and you're over 20? Just Cuz called Rocsi a "yamp" *falls out*

Viewers Choice- Lil Wayne
Yes! I'm happy Soulja Boy didn't get this award. I must say the BET Awards is on their A game with these winners. Kanye is all on Wayne's nuts. Give him 50 feet son.

9:32-Rihanna. Her dress is a mess. She look like she's on her way to a funeral in the early 1900's. Chris Brown needs to stop stunting and fronting. He's bored just like the rest of us, but singing with her acting like he's enjoying this. *snores* And is that a dog collar on her neck? WOO HA, CB got his hoes in check.

9:40- Deborah Lee always seems scared to be up there. Her voice is shaking and it sounds like she's going to cry right about.....NOW. She is a stunning older woman though.

Humanitarian Award- Quincy Jones
79 Grammy nomination and 27 Grammy's. That is quite an accomplishment. And he's one of my people so I'm extremely proud. I'm just happy that he took his blessings and blessed the less fortunate.

Queen Latifah is shitting on these hoes! I am loving her new look! Classy and elegant...two words most of these women don't know nathan about.

9:45- Nelly and Anti-Gravity Boys...Whoever they are.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Nelly CAN.GET.GET.GET.IT. But this song is 10 shades of terrible. Do.not.want.

Ciara NO! That wig is awful and refuse to take this. She is too good to be wasting her time on this bs song.

Fergie is confusing me...she has on a Tina Turner cocktail dress with a Tiffany Evans bomber jacket. Another victim of wearing all your favorite items at once. SMMFH

9:55- Best Female R&B Artist- Alicia Keys
She has blown my life with that artillery belt of clams across that nice dress! She could mess up a wet dream! And she thanked everyone except George Bush. EXIT STAGE LEFT!

10:09-Lil Wayne. I am not feeling this performance. WAIT....A MILLI! *dancing all over my room* Shittt, he killed this part. I can't front. This was a great way to end the show.